Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Little People

By little people I in no way mean dwarf. I mean children. Specifically my children. These have seriously got to be some of the orneriest people on the freaking planet. These. children. are. after. my. sanity.

Last night, J boycotted bedtime. Again. Nothing new there. I thought they had finally settled down around 9 because things had gotten peaceful. Until I walked into my room. There was a 36" tall human in my bed. On my side of the bed no less. Using my pillow. He pulled the blanket over his eyes when I turned the light on and told me to be quiet, he was sleeping. Ooook. So I went back out to the kitchen and was diligently playing Mafia Wars... I mean working. Anyway, he comes out and gets this annoying little Lilly Leapfrog toy. I think his heart was in the right place, because he took it to his sister. Now I loves that toy. Taking it to her was where the good willed cuteness ended. That went way out the window when he dropped it on her sleeping head. So now two of my darling children were awake and it was pushing 10 at that point. So now, I needs to be held, cuddled and loved upon. J instantly gets jealous. Once I got her laid back down, he was willing to go lay back down in my bed. I swear the lights were off when I walked out of the room. I go to check on him 3o minutes later and imagine my surprise when the door is closed, light is on. Crap. Now you know this can't possibly mean anything GOOD! Little shit was sitting in my bed, on my side of the bed, on my pillow, reading my book. I'm not exactly where the can of Febreeze comes into his evil plan, but it was very... fresh smelling in there. And very wet. I didn't know I had a can of Febreeze in the bedroom. Hell I probably didn't have a can of Febreeze in the bedroom. Who knows where it came from. What was important at that point was, the 3-year-old was smelling very fresh and my bedding was very wet. Fun times. Fun times at 10:30 at night. Good news is, today is another day. Bad news is, today is another day and these children of mine are going to come up with something totally new and improved to drive me batty.

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